A reflective journey to self-love

read time | 2 minutes
who |   Antoinette Sampson  (she/her) Mother, teacher, lifelong learner, family enthusiast, preparer of all things delicious

When my grandmother grew too feeble to live alone, she moved to Bracey, Virginia to live with her daughter.  Grandmother had given me what she wanted me to have while she was well.  She gave me jewelry and helped me purchase my first home.  How could anything else compare?.  When she left, she asked me to choose a keepsake that would always remind me of her.  I knew exactly what I wanted, it was the focal point no matter, which room it occupied and over the years it occupied many.  

It started out in my grandmother’s living room, my father’s childhood home. It enjoyed the constant attention by my aunts and uncles while they were growing up.  When grandmother moved into a small apartment, it moved with her to help expand the inadequate space and give it depth and breadth. Finally, it came to rest in my dinning room.  As always it is the central piece that adds elegance and splendor to the room

It is flawlessly beautiful yet flaws are revealed.  The perimeter is etched with delicate vines and the beveled outside edge adds a touch of elegance to the piece.  Each area is brightened by its presence; there is a sense of airiness and spaciousness.  Somehow rooms take on a whole new appearance. Most people love the ambience; others are intimidated by its truth. 

Everyone sees something different; their perception is not the same, yet only truth abounds. Some are enchanted, some are disillusioned and many are obsessed with what it captures.  You could say it is a chameleon, its colors change with each new admirer.  

It is admired, but never appreciated for its candor.  Some people ignore its presence, avoiding the honesty within. Youngsters, while firm and beautiful take it for granted, they mature in its presence and it falls out of favor with each year after 40.  By the time the admirer reaches 50, its purpose is simply to inform and advise of impending issues; thinning hair, wrinkles, required cover-up and sagging body parts.

Shallow and unconcerned with the person inside, it boldly points out flaws; a hair out of place, a stain on a crisp white shirt or a face full of acne. It preys on imperfection.  Those who are satisfied do not linger.

Years have passed and my keepsake always reminds me of my grandmother. I look at it and in many ways I see her. Quite some time ago the movers transferred it from one room to another.  It was chipped on the lower left corner.  Because I take its presence for granted, I never noticed the flaw. The children kept the secret and finally told me after many years.  I can hardly believe that I missed a crack in an object that I look at everyday. What do I see, is it the object or is it me?

Question to ponder: 

1. What is the gap between how you see yourself and how others might see you?

2. How do we learn to embrace our whole selves - including our flaws?

3. How might we help young people to see the beauty in their flaws?